Conspicuously (and Conveniently) Absent?

Here in the second (or perhaps third) wave of virtual worlds adoption, certain industries remain conspicuously absent.

I'm not talking about the fields we all know are emerging (such as education) or not yet supported (gambling, banking). I'm talking about the businesses that should have been spotted in virtual worlds, but haven't yet.

Consider this list a (somewhat humorous) study in the state of virtual worlds in relation to the real world.

1. Where is the Avon Lady?
I cannot believe the Avon lady is not yet a fixture in all of our worlds. The timeless salesperson of "hope in a jar" translates as well into any virtual world as into any region in flat land. Did you know there are over 700,000 Avon ladies in Brazil? I have not seen a single one in Second Life, nor anywhere else virtual.

Some of you are laughing now, but am I joking?

2. Grocery stores
I am not about to suggest that grocery stores are a good topic for virtual worlds: On the contrary, I think they are extraordinarily bad. Possibly second only to soft-drinks in the poor chances of connecting with the audience, or providing any value. It is nearly impossible to be of tangible benefit to the users of either product given the current technologies.

Still: That doesn't explain their absence. Plenty of ill-advised campaigns have been undertaken on behalf of even less relevant products. So where are the virtual shopping carts to complicate my essentially web-based purchase? I don't want to see it - I just want to know where it is.

3. Heavy Metal Music
Other musical initiatives have taken the leap: Where is the hairy, ear-splitting mosh pit crowd?

I'm dead serious: Metal is big business. Three of 2007's top 10 albums were heavy metal. Do metal-heads just not like virtual worlds? Do they even have computers?*

Perhaps they're simply waiting for a virtual world they can operate while plastered. Platform developers: You must include the staffs of "Creem" and "Kerrang" in your product test cycles.

4. Oprah
Actually, this is not a business - it's an autonomous nation.

We must presume that the only reason behind this absence is the imminent debut of The Opraverse.

5. Viagra, Ciali-something, and those other pills too
I'm just saying: I can't believe one of these hasn't sponsored a giant phallus yet. Duh.

I suppose we will simply remain grateful that some of these have never made it past the login screen. Particularly that last one.

If I've overlooked an implementation that conflicts with these, drop me a line - we wouldn't want to miss any of these glorious milestones! ;)

*Psst: Yes, some of us do have computers.